"You’re more than a body."
As a fat woman who used to be a fat kid, I’ve spent a lot of time attempting to distance myself (my character, my thoughts, my feelings) from my body. I thought that the more distance I put between my intelligence, my kindness, my talent and my skin and flesh, the more respect I could get and the more I could feel like I was worthwhile. The key was always to make sure I was good enough to be respected or desired in spite of my body. I knew no one could possibly find my body attractive so I thought I’d do the next best thing: make them see past it. 21 years later and I still do this every single day. I wake up, and I make sure I’m funny enough. If I can’t manage to make someone laugh that day, then I’m introspective or deep enough to keep people interested. If all else fails, I’m a nice person. It’s good to be a nice person.
You just have to distract everyone from the glaring flaw which is your body. Hiding a pimple? Easy. Bad hair day? Hat. Hiding your body every day? Not as easy. It gets exhausting. So you wake up and think to yourself “today I will love my body. I will find it desirable.” See, we’re inundated with this “love yourself first” bullshit so you think, “If I truly believe I’m sexy then other people will too.” Except it doesn’t work. You attempt to show off your body, and you get the classic fat girl response: “You don’t have to do that. You’re too smart. You’re more than a body.”
I find the last response particularly grating. I’ve spent my whole life defining my very personality in opposition to my body. For better or worse, who I am has been shaped by existing in this body and as a response to all the negativity surrounding my own fat body and fat bodies like it.
"You are more than a body."
is code for
"You are more than your fat body. And we thank god for it.”