I never dated in high school; I only had my first heartbreak recently. I only started getting intimate with people last year, and I am so thankful that I waited to explore my sexuality until I was older. I haven’t done a lot of shit right in my life, but taking my love life slowly was definitely a smart move on my part. I am so much more comfortable in my skin than I was even a couple years ago. I know what I want out of dating, and I no longer feel pressure (internal or otherwise) to jump into a relationship just to say I’m in one.
I know now that I don’t want to fuck around or hook up randomly. I want a committed, monogamous relationship. I want to go slowly. I want to really be with someone, and I’m okay with being single right now. I’d be okay with being single for the next ten years if that’s how long it takes to find someone who inspires me.
schedule for next semester
History of Global Inequality – 8:35 am – 9:50am
Intro to Latin American Politics – 11:00 am – 12:15pm
Intro to Physical Environment Lab – 1:15pm – 4:05pm (Monday only)
Intro to Physical Environment– 10:00 am – 11:15am
Intro to Latin American Culture – 11:30am – 12:45pm
Development of Social Thought - 1:15pm – 2:30 pm
I want you to hate me with all of your heart because you think I’m patronizing or shallow. I want you to love me with everything you have because you believe I’m caring and loyal. I want your respect because I’m a somewhat knowledgeable decent human who’s using my energy to better myself so that I may better my community one day. I want you to laugh in my face because I’m not half as decent or knowledgeable as I think I am. But I don’t want you to like me or pity me or tolerate me because of some misplaced white guilt or a sense of brown/black solidarity.
I am a proud brown woman. I’m proud to be queer, and I’m proud of my history and my shared struggle with other people who subscribe to these identities. I do not want to be defined by these labels. I do not want to think or speak for anyone but myself. But unfortunately I do not get that luxury. And it is a luxury – to be viewed as just a person. I can try to ignore all of these facets of my identity in the hopes that I can just be Jesa eventually, but it doesn’t work that way. So I embrace these labels as much as I can. I try to educate myself as much as I can. But I always feel behind everyone else.
What does it mean to be a woman of color?